


WaWaWeeWa!

by Canttouchthis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canttouchthis/pseuds/Canttouchthis
Summary: When the golden trio is captured by snatchers, they have a plan to capitalize on their predicament.“Hello!” Harry began, in his best attempt at a Kazakh accent, “my name is Borat - you must be Death Eaters - I’m a beeg fan.”(the kind of but not really Borat crossover no one asked for)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 42





	WaWaWeeWa!

**Author's Note:**

> Borat was on while I was writing yesterday and I got this plot bunny in my head I just had to get out (of my head). Apologies in advanced for any brain cells lost reading this...
> 
> Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor Borat

The snatchers apparated in the instant Harry said _Voldemort_ , a series of 'pops' and 'flicks' as the wizards landed and brandished their wands. Luckily, Harry, Hermione and Ron had a plan in case something like this happened. They immediately transfigured one another and grabbed their props, ready for the snatchers.

“Well, well, what do we have here.” Greyback snarled, his putrid yellow eyes boring into Harry’s.

“Hello!” Harry began, in his best attempt at a Kazakh accent, “my name is Borat - you must be Death Eaters - i’m a _beeg_ fan.”

The snatchers blinked, turning to one another and whispering as the strange man with a rather handsome mustache proceeded to walk around admiring them, “In my country, we kick out Mudbloods long ago. You make Britain great again, yes?”

“Er,” Greyback looked unsettled, his mouth twitching as his gaze shifted from the odd man to the two people behind him with what looked like some sort of photography device, “you’ll have to come with us.”

“You take us to Dark Lord!” Harry clasped his hands and raised them in the air, appearing overjoyed, “Wawawewa! What an honor!” The trio allowed themselves to be transported, somewhat surprised to find themselves at Malfoy Manor. A confused Bellatrix Lestrange and Draco Malfoy stood by the door waiting for the group.

“What is this?” Bellatrix snarled.

Greyback looked about ready to respond when Harry (as Borat) spoke again, “my name is Borat! I am from Kazakhstan - I was sent by my premiere to make relations with Death Eaters. So much relations! We also hate Mudbloods like you!”

Bellatrix frowned, appearing _deeply_ disappointed that their captives were not anyone of import, “what are they doing here?” She snarled at Greyback.

The werewolf furrowed his eyes, “well, uh, one of them said the Dark Lord’s name - set off the taboo.”

“Ah yes, that was me. I was not sure how to find Dark Lord so I try like Bloody Mary - say his name in the mirror 3 times and it worked!” Harry explained helpfully. 

“Who are your - friends?” Lestrange spat, a disdainful frown marking her face.

“These? Ignore them - they are camera people - they record my journey for video to Kazakhstan people. Yes.” Harry explained, giving a slight wink at the end.

“You,” Harry couldn’t help himself and pointed to Draco Malfoy, “you smell like Mudblood - are you Mudblood? I smell death and steamed brussel sprouts.” Harry made a point to make a gagging motion, “please, get Mudblood away from me. My constitution cannot handle.”

“I’m not a Mudblood.” Malfoy snarled, his chest puffed and tone haughty.

“Are you sure?” Harry frowned, looking at Lestrange now, “in my country, we like to hunt Mudblood for sport, you see. We bet money.”

Bellatrix now looked to Harry in a new light, “tell me more about your country…”

* * *

“Dark Lord will be here soon, yes?” Harry asked after a long conversation with Bellatrix Lestrange about (made up) Kazakh customs over a rather bland cup of Earl Gray. Meanwhile, Hermione and Ron were hopefully incapacitating the other Death Eaters and rescuing prisoners from the basement. 

“Of course, he is very interested in learning more about your country.” Her features were menacing, though Harry couldn’t be certain if this was some sort of threat to him or a variation on her natural face.

“Wonderful! Oh, I am so nervous, am I blushing? Oh I hope he likes me.” Harry proceeded to fan himself as he jumped up and down in his seat. Bellatrix’s smile grew (somehow) more cruel.

Luckily, before the Dark Lord showed up, Ron and Hermione came into the room, giving him the ' _all good_ ' signal.

“Well, Ms. Lestrange - it’s been wonderful to meet you. But,” Harry transfigured himself back into his _Harry_ persona, “I really must go.” Before she even had the chance to shout Hermione had stupefied the woman. 

“Alright guys, I would say this was a wildly successful capture.” Harry made the motion of washing his hands, “let’s go!”

“Next time I want to be Borat.” Ron complained as they apparated away.

_Fin_


End file.
